I'm not entirely sure why I have to try to come up with some sort of theme titling for posts about The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. It's invariably "The Something of Someone", and I am not so creative as to come up with a great many versions (possibly 15,498, or even 15,853) of this. And yet, there is the niggling feeling that this is somehow expected of me.

I picked up the second volume of the Haruhi-chan manga a couple of days ago, possibly in the vague intention of having something concrete and non-transient to remind me of the highly amusing incidents therein. I've not had much time to do anything other than a quick skimming, or indeed much time to do anything. I'd say I'm on the depressive cycle of manic-depression, but since I'm not (formally) diagnosed with such, I won't. It's just plain listlessness.

Haruhi-chan has helped in perking me up a little, and I suspect that it's because if I'm reading it, I'm likely not also reading forums or blogs or such: in other words, I'm not interacting with the fandom. This leaves me free to actually enjoy what I'm doing, rather than having to defend my enjoyment of it from the inevitable complaints, flames, and the other hazards of the Internet.

I have, it appears, gone back to basics.

It's always a pleasure to indulge in my hobbies as hobbies, rather than obligations. I know I'll receive all sorts of comments about Remembering to Do This Blog for Fun, which I'm still not sure how to answer: I tend to want to ramble on about whatever is on my mind at the moment, but this only really works in private. Once I have a public blog, I have to watch what I say, because posting these ramblings count as having published them, and now I have to be able to defend what I say. Invariably, the negative comments will get challenged far more than the positive sort, so I try to remain upbeat.

It's tiring, but it's not a matter of choice: if I say something, I must be able to defend it, or retract it as required. To behave otherwise is to shirk the responsibility I have due to the power of merely having a blog. If I claim to be posting my thoughts, I should be actually doing so; anything else would be at least unintentionally misleading, if not outright dishonest. I don't pretend to have a full grasp on the necessary vocabulary for expressing myself, so misunderstandings are inevitable, but that only means I should try even harder to avoid miscommunication.

I knew this when I started this blog, of course. It's something I've come to accept… which, of course, doesn't mean I don't resent it at times.

But I digress. Reading Haruhi-chan has the bonus of being able to see the miscellaneous illustrations the artist has seen fit to use as space-filler, and these are what reminded me of at least part of my love for MoHS: cute girls.

No, really.

I've never made any secret of my appreciation for the fine female form, presumably since I Do Not Get Any in Real Life. I'm well aware that this is escapist fantasizing, and I would never objectify Real Women like this, entirely because I am fully cognizant of the differences between fiction and reality. (I honestly think I'd gouge my own eyes out before I'd treat Real People in the consequence-free manner I could treat Fictional Characters. Not the consequences for me; the consequences for them.) But I will spend an uncomfortably long time staring at a picture of, say, Ryouko Asakura, divorced from the Truth about her personality as displayed in the canon, and simply admire how good she looks.

The same goes for Emiri Kimidori. It's my side character preferences acting up again, I suspect. This may be why I'm looking forward to new chapters of that Yuki Nagato spin-off manga, which hopefully has more of these characters without the plot portcullis slamming down on any further appearances.

All these characters pale, however, against Sonou Mori, the Organization member disguised as a maid. The illustration on page 37 of the second volume of Haruhi-chan (according to the Taiwanese translation copy, anyway) is a fine example of a sexy, sexy lady.

Schadenfreude is not especially prominent in my personality (l'esprit de l'escalier is), and to be honest I don't really find The Endless Torment Of Mikuru Asahina all that entertaining. Of course, later it turns into comedy through repetition, and Mikuru's superhumanly resilient optimism and cheer makes it seem like all the abuse that is heaped upon her is not that serious. It's okay to laugh along. It's okay.

After all, most people I know seem perfectly content to laugh at Taniguchi's misfortunes. There may be a double standard here.

Despite my tendency to skip past the harrassment of Mikuru's person by Haruhi, fate, or both, I find the music of "Higeki no Heroine" ("Tragic Heroine") to be apropos, in situation and title. Mikuru would have been the heroine in another show, probably shoujo, and "tragedy" seems to be a good descriptor of what appears to be the default template for these characters. Despite the existence of two other possible theme songs for Mikuru, one of which is associated with "non-Haruhi" while the other is "too much Haruhi", when I think of Mikuru, the tango comes to mind immediately.

And the incredibly overwrought solo violin, possibly the World's Smallest, places the situation in the comedic context it is intended to be in. (The orchestral version, here along with two other tracks ("Invitation to the Unexpected" and "Beach Vacation"), makes for a startlingly fun showcase of the lead violin.) The strong melodic line is lyrically tempting:

Oh what a tragedy
For a heroine like me
I don't want to be
In this club especially
What is that costume for?
Why are you locking the door?
Oh how can this be
Kyon-kun, help me!

Possibly the most pathetic sort of blog post is the one that promises future blog posts, without actually containing any substance in itself.

The whole Kyonko thing is, incredibly, still going on. Perhaps not as feverishly as before, but various new fanmade material are being put out in various languages, although primarily Japanese and English. In that time, I've heard all sorts of criticisms about this phenomenon. The most common appear to be the usual screed against fanfiction, fanworks, and fan interpretations in general, claiming that by altering the canon, we are somehow blaspheming against the creator's vision. It's the sort of thing that I can't really counter: I don't agree with that viewpoint, but I can't come up with any sort of reason apart from "just because I disagree". If I tried to pass that off as a valid excuse to change other people's minds, I'd get rightly reamed in debate.

Other arguments against The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya include a more specific distaste for altering the characters' genders, both in the physical and sociological sense. And then there are the simultaneous complaints that we are altering the canon too much, and not altering it enough.

The AnimeSuki thread about the phenomenon is still in existence, although the focus has shifted thanks to the project leaders losing interest in a straight novel conversion. My careful withdrawal from what they are doing right now is something that will have to wait for another post, since I'd rather not end up having to retract what I say in favour of something only marginally more accurate to my meaning.

Which isn't to say that I'm completely out of it, of course. I'm just not working on the Current Hot Project; small little fanfictional efforts are still within the realm of possibility. This is, unfortunately, not going very well, mainly because I appear to have lost the ability to characterize.

To be honest, most of my previous efforts were based on my usual shorthand-simplification method of writing fanfiction: reduce the character to their bold strokes outline, assign them an easily-remembered voice and tone, and things generally work out from there. By this system, Kyonko is the world as written by a tsundere, trying to be cool and aloof like the typical teenager, but protesting against Haruki's antics a little too much. Haruki Suzumiya, for his part, always shouts! Using exclamation marks! He's very excitable! And impatient! He also complains about the shortcomings of others! Repeatedly!

For Mitsuuru Asahina, I took the much-maligned personality of the Generic Spineless Non-Perverted Harem Comedy Male Lead, and gave it to him more or less unchanged, since it seemed appropriate. Itsuko Koizumi gets to copy-and-paste from Wikipedia. Yuuki Nagato is fairly easy to write: any time he has dialogue, I strip it out. Yuuki communicates by staring: "yes" becomes a stare, "no" becomes a stare, "pass the salt" becomes a stare… somehow Kyonko always knows what it means. (Cf Discworld's Librarian, ie "ook".)

I may be exaggerating for effect, but likely far less than you might think. I've been told that I characterize well, which always makes me feel guilty, but I suspect that coming up with subtly-nuanced and complex characters is mostly for the author's benefit, since readers will only remember the vague generalities anyway. (I'm not saying that it's not necessary to come up with complex characters, but that's another blog post in itself.)

The current problem I'm facing (apart from having little motivation to work on the actual novel rewrites, thus keeping myself to fanfiction) is that I kind of need to explain some mind-numbingly complicated theory, which allows me both Itsuko and Yuuki as mouthpieces, but it is highly improbable that Kyonko will let them infodump without snarky commentary. The theory (about multiverses, largely obtained from several science fiction books of varying hardness) is difficult enough to understand without the reader getting distracted by pained attempts at humour. And yet walls of text are also unwelcome, leaving me with the version of writers' block whereby I know what I want to write, but I don't know how to write it.

I have newfound respect for Tanigawa Nagaru for being able to explain stuff like Euler's planar graph formula in a coherent and entertaining manner, even through a layer (or two) of translation.

Real Life is working me particularly hard these days. I anticipated this, and posted one of my two-posts-a-week early, but I am left with one more to go. I am afraid this is it.

Unlike many other bloggers of the realm, I don't actually mind the endlessness of the eights that have been the theme of the past few "second season" episodes. I've mentioned before that I wouldn't mind seeing an endless stream of Slice Of Life involving cute anime girls and the sort of comedy I have become used to from the anime I watch. This is what the "Endless Eight" set of episode provide, and my belief has been borne out in practice. I was bored by Sister Princess because the comedy was lacking; I remain enamoured of Lucky Star because the elements were all there. Hidamari Sketch had all this and more, which is why it is one of my favourites.

The continuation of "Endless Eight" to a fourth episode surprised me, because I did not think that it could be done. But I did not think it could have lasted more than one episode either, so I have been just as endlessly surprised by the distinct variations on the same theme. The staff of Kyoto Animation definitely have more imagination than I do.

I have been trying to avoid the… well, not the fandom as such. I do not think these people can be called fans. Former fans, some of them, but not all. Anti-fans seems more like it: jumping into every thread about the series to lambast anyone with a positive mindset for being "sheep" and following "groupthink". This is often aimed at The Fandom, but when people who identify as being in The Fandom complain, we are told that we are over-sensitive. I have never really understood this line of reasoning: if you splatter an area with mud, bystanders may feel annoyed.

After all, I believe that I came by my opinions fairly and independently. But if they are effectively identical to that which is accused of being Groupthink, then there's no real point, is there? How far should I be Different for the sake of being Different?

It is a mystery.

Also, the reason why I'm particularly careful about how I phrase my negative comments is because one of the things I've learned, if only in theory, is that hyperbole and exaggeration seldom apply to the defamation defence of honest opinion. The law of defamation protects reputation and standing, not ego, and it is this thin line I toe.

Of course, I don't expect I'll ever get sued for defamation on my blog, but I doubt many people expected the RIAA or whatnot to sue whatever the latest music-downloader. Best to be safe, and all that.

I admit that I'm not entirely certain what to think about hearing "Koi no Mikuru Densetsu" as played by the Tokyo Philharmonic Orchestra.

There's something strangely compelling about listening to pop music, as in popular music that is of interest to the teeming masses, as played by an orchestra. Or a full choir chanting something vaguely Latinesque, going "Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine" or "Rex tremendae majestatis" or "Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi" and so on to the tune, because apparently Mozart's Requiem Mass in D minor is just about the only piece of music in Latin many popular composers are willing to make use of.

That might be a bit unfair, of course. We've got our own example of an alternative, Mahler's Symphony No. 8 ("Veni, creator spiritus, mentes tuorum visita") in the sixth chronological episode of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, and occasionally composers make up their own ("Cum historia mutat valde, Razgriz revelat ipsum primum daemon scelestus est"). But I digress.

Part of it might be the sheer effort required in getting all these people together, in a setting normally expected to be a stuffy, bourgeois concert hall, performing with great pomp and professionalism something that was originally sung (badly) in MIDI by a combat waitress from the future in a bunnysuit. The incongruity makes such an arrangement unlikely, which is why it is so fascinating when it actually happens.

Yes, I know. Trust me, with Card Captor Sakura, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, and Discworld, just assume that the news turns up quite punctually in my brain on the dot by some form of MAGIC.

MoHS is an odd fandom to talk about. For one thing, it's quite difficult to spoil the show, or rather discuss the show without spoiling it. Quite apart from the now-famous revelation about Haruhi's powers, the way both anime and light novels skip around in the timeline (in the latter case, bringing a sense of reminiscence on Kyon's part) means that anyone seeking an explanation of some confusing minutiae would likely end up knowing the events of episodes yet to be aired or even created. It has all gone a bit quantum, really.

Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody was everything I expected, which made me happy. I am still basking in what a less prudish (and probably much more experienced) blogger would label the afterglow, but which I have no real term for. Everything is as it should be: god's in her heaven, all's right with the world.

It is probably a lost cause for me to glean any sort of coherent reaction from this, so I'm not going to try.

The reaction on the fandom has been intriguing to watch. I would even say that it was fun to watch the outpourings of positive emotions on various forums and channels in realtime, as the episode aired. I've always been happier being around other happy people, rather than the usual Internet pastime of complaining about more or less everything.

I've kind of fallen out of the whole TVTropes thing, mainly because while reading the articles on that wiki has not exactly lost its charm, I really don't want to deal with the whole rename wars anymore, and I'm reminded of it every time I see a trope page which is obviously named for humour value rather than clarity. Nevertheless, I have read complaints that KyoAni/Kadokawa/whoever is actually responsible is airing the episodes in chronological order without regard to which season they belong in, and this is very confusing or some such. Being that at least some of these people complained back in 2006 that the non-chronological order sucked for being confusing, I think I am justified in linking to this page, just this once.

Name the game systems.

Left top shelf: ???, XBox 360, what looks like a slimline PlayStation 2, what might be a PC Engine (or a bunch of cartridges), and a Mega Drive/Genesis.

Left third shelf: PC-FX, some kind of arcade joystick gamepad, a box of parts, and… is that a Wii?

Left bottom shelf: I think it's a NES (well, technically Famicom).

Right top shelf: I'd guess a Super Famicom if the shape weren't all wrong; maybe a 3DO? It's a Saturn, and probably a Playstation 3.

Right bottom shelf: GameCube (I think; wrong number of controller ports), and… could be a Dreamcast.

I'm going to go turn in my geek card now.

There are times when it is best to avoid certain parts of the Internet, specifically the locales populated by the more excitable features of fandom. Like a gathering storm, one might be able to see the dark clouds in the distance, forming an eldritch vortex centered around the site of momentous events, often enshrined in a multi-stage boss fight with pseudo-Latinate choirs. The wisest course of action in these cases is to Be Somewhere Else.

I feel oddly detached from what has been described as Kyoto Animation's "god-level trolling". I am entirely satisfied with the first and thus far only season of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, being a fairly complete story of reasonable quality. The rumours of a second season are welcome, but not essential, like the much-touted need for New Fans, or Fans Who Need To Keep Their Interest Up. Personally, I believe that if a show is good, then it is good, and does not require constant infusions of new content to be enjoyable. This is not a MMORPG, paid for monthly; it is a regular game, paid for once (with a rather larger amount of cash) and done. Theoretically, at least: the endless stream of patches most games go through are a worrying sign of the times, and the analogy breaks down somewhat, since by the time you get to pay for an anime (putting aside digital distribution), it has already been "patched" to a final-ish version with the animation corrections on the DVDs.

My blase attitude could be due to my self-identification, among others, as a gamer: if I were affected intensely by every delay and cancellation, I would not be able to see the humour in the developer definition of "soon". I know I am not alone in this, as I've heard Haruhi S2 described as anime's Duke Nukem Forever, with some wondering if it would turn into a Starcraft Ghost.

Comments about "leaving the franchise to die" are equally misguided, as my favourite anime of all time bar none is Card Captor Sakura, now coming on to a decade of existence, and I certainly don't believe that it has been abandoned. My love of the show is not ephemeral and weak. When I named The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya as my second favourite anime, it will remain my second favourite anime until something even better comes along, but it will not lose any of its lustre with age.

Besides, I'm still busy with the side project of genderswapping the characters, so I will be in the fandom for a very long time to come.

So one of the myriad problems I have been facing for the past week or so is what seems to be a persistent illness which bears the symptoms of influenza, except not at the same time. In fact, I seem to be getting about a third to half of them at any one time: runny nose, aching muscles, fever, general feelings of discomfort, so on and so forth. I have yet to have all these strike me at once, which may or may not be considered small blessings.

The net result of this is that I have not been able to get much restful sleep. Yes, I know, world's smallest stringed instrument and all that. However, it has interfered with my usual plans for posting anything other than Random Pictures, of which I keep forgetting if I have posted them before. And so, I'm going to try seeing if I can post as a more stream-of-consciousness deal for a while.

This means that I will probably not be posting anything of actual interest for a while, at least until I get several nights' worth of sleep. (Or days. It's the usual geek lament of not keeping sane hours.) You may interpret that as you wish.

Anyway. My continuing obsession with the gender-swap project as applied to The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya has not abated. It has, however, as with organisms under tremendous stress, mutated.

I should probably explain the situation as it stands in the AnimeSuki thread at the moment, although I must warn all interested parties that said situation is very fluid, and what may be the Truth now may not be the Truth when I wake up tomorrow, and it may well be a small rubber duck instead. (Or something.) To recap no, there is too much; to summarize, we have Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan, which translates more or less to "The Genderbending of Haruki Suzumiya" ("Haruki" is not a typo, and is indeed the name of the male version of Haruhi, achieved by thread consensus), and it is the Main Project towards which our efforts are bent, aha.

And then, rising from the murks of What If, we now also have something tentatively labelled Suzumiya Haruhi no Tsuji, which allegedly translates into "The Crossroads of Haruhi Suzumiya".

The premise of SHnT (which I am choosing for the convenient acronym, since it looks better than CoHS, which reminds me too much of my MMORPG of choice) is that due to some uncertain cause, possibly quantum, the setting involves the canon characters, and their genderswapped twins. In other words, imagine a SOS Brigade headed by both Haruhi and Haruki Suzumiya, countered by the Dual Snark Action of Kyon and Kyonko.

Since doubling the world's population would be out of the question, the thread's consensus appears to be to leave most of the characters as their canon gender, and twin the characters who have received an image song CD of their own, plus Taniguchi and Kunikida, presumably for being themselves. This works out to be eleven extra characters to work in, which is no mean task.

Opinions are split on whether the SOS Brigade are aware that This Should Not Be, and how both Kyons will handle the realization that they are now kinda-sorta siblings, except much more complicated. An especially vocal contingent wishes to turn this into the script for a H-manga, whereby the solution to the problem of colliding worlds is for the Kyons to do the dirty.

It's porn. It doesn't have to make sense.

Since the SHnT project is somewhat splintered at the moment, I'm considering taking up the banner of what has been called the GuruGuruMawaru faction, after the lyrics for the opening theme of the first season of School Rumble, which takes love polygons to relatively absurd levels that nevertheless make some variety of sense if you start from the very beginning. This will be decidedly non-H, and the premise is that everyone has been twins from the beginning (whether this is Haruhi-influenced is undecided, but the important thing is that Kyon and Kyonko are unaware of this), although it will probably be rather confusing, if only for the huge cast of characters.

I'm in the middle of a draft of such a story even now. Kyonko takes the role of the viewpoint character, if only because, freed from the constraints of sticking so closely to the text of the original novels, I can let loose my impression of what a snarky female narrator might be. It will not be a pleasant experience for the targets of her barbs.

We have descended deep into the pits of fanfictional fantasy, and only time will tell whether any of us will be able to claw our way back out, changed by our experiences, in whatever direction.