You may have noticed that I haven't been updating all that much lately.
Or rather, to be more specific, I've been following the same Two Posts Per Week schedule which I had set for myself when I started this blog, but these posts seldom have any true substance. Instead, I seem to be making up ramblings extempore which have only the most marginal relationship to anime, and the subset of fandom which involves blogging about it.
This sort of thing happens in cycles. Sometimes I am brimful of brilliant ideas which I cannot wait to share with the world at large, and I trumpet these thoughts out in the space allotted to me here on this blog. At other times, I have nothing to say other than a simple "mrph".
For the past few weeks, I've been working on my Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha fanfic. Most of the time spent on this endeavour is on discussion with other fans, rather than actual writing. I had been burned badly on this very fanfic, where an ill-explained piece of canon was slightly better explained in an out-of-series source, which nevertheless struck down the edifice of theory I had so carefully constructed and built my story around. And so I make sure that everything I intend to put into the story does not contradict canon, which is no mean task when canon itself contradicts common sense. (Seriously, it's a mess.)
All this came to a head when I took a look at the calendar, and realized that it's Wednesday. I'm supposed to write my Two Posts Per Week, and I haven't even started on picking the topic. Well, a Card Captor Sakura episode summary always seems to go down well. I found the disc and popped it into the drive.
About ten minutes into the episode, I found myself looking at the clock. I was considering leaving it for tomorrow, but no, I'd mess up the screenshot order and I'd have to start all over again. I was trying to psych myself into a less melancholic mood, without much success, which boded ill for the actual episode summary, since I'd probably fill it with forced and unfunny jokes.
And then I realized something: I was watching my favourite anime ever, in order to comment on it as I have done many times before, all for the sake of a hobby blog, and I was not enjoying myself. I was forcing myself through it. Haven't I heard about this from other, more experienced bloggers before?
This is burnout!
Yes, I actually said that out loud to myself. It was that startling of a revelation. I didn't have anything compelling enough in the world of Anime Suitable For Blogging that I immersed myself in the far more interesting world of fanfiction, and when I had to pull myself away to discharge my obligations onto this blog, it was akin to being separated from a favourite toy. It may be an immature reaction, but one can hardly expect me to approach the responsibility of the blog with anything resembling good grace.
Besides, this is a blog about Japanese cartoons and the cute girls therein. I think I'm entitled to be immature, if only for the sake of consistency.
I'm not sure what I should be doing to solve this conundrum. I could bring my fanfictional ramblings into this blog: after all, it's an anime fanfic. I also seem to remember a few conversations over on #AnimeBlogger which were unexpectedly encouraging about the discussion of fanfiction on anime blogs, possibly for variety. However, fanfiction also appears to be something of an Acceptable Target for jibes and barbs serious enough to leave wounds.
I could also just grab random screenshots from random anime, and give them incredibly discreet one-line captions with painfully understated jokes, just so that it would be as obvious as SCREAMING IN YOUR FACE, except approached from the other side.
The choice is yours. Unless I don't get any responses at all, in which case I'll just run head-first into a wall or something until another idea pops out.